Love: Just a Swipe Away

I observed him carefully as he walked to the door. I knew that time was running out but suppressed the urge to check my watch. I took a deep breath and started counting in reverse under my breath. "Ten, nine, eight, seven.

Till a year back I had thought that meeting a stranger, whom you had befriended online was the most risky thing I had ever done, little did I know that the stranger would one day change my perspective towards life and risks.

This one stranger who moved my heart in a matter of minutes, who went on to become the man I craved for from being just a stranger in a matter of days and the one who made me go crazy even when I knew he wasn’t worth it. After having become friends on a dating app in the world where hooking up and falling in love at the hit of a button on the phone screen is considered the only option fit for youngsters, we finally decided to meet. We had chosen afternoon as the time and a cafe bustling with people, I was petrified, this being the first time I was meeting someone through an app.

'Hey Rhea,' he said with a huge smile after finding me standing near the entrance.

'Hi Danny. How are you?' I replied.

'I am fine. How about you?'

'I am doing well, thanks.'

'Let’s go in,' he said extending his left arm signalling me to lead the way. In those few seconds he and his twinkling eyes had shooed away all my fear.  His face gave a look so genuine I had hardly seen something like that in the people I met daily at my workplace.

'Please,' he gestured for me to have a seat, pulling the chair out. I almost said wow but stopped myself somehow. I looked at him for a few good seconds till managed to come out of the stupor the chivalry had just caused.

'Thanks.' I muttered.

'You are welcome,' he replied in the most melodious voice, I had ever heard.

'Is he even real?' I pinched myself.

'You seem somewhere else. Are you fine?' He asked

'Oh yes, I get distracted sometimes.'

'Not an issue. I will try to hold your attention.'

For the next few hours as I finally let go of my inhibitions of meeting an unknown entity and realized that it felt a lot different to meet someone who can talk his heart out to you. He not only held my attention, he made me listen, made me speak a lot more than I ever did with any guy and most importantly he made me laugh, cracking jokes at himself. It was his first time as well meeting someone through a dating app and he had been nervous as hell. We discussed about our professional lives and the monotonous lifestyles, while laughing it out about our love lives. It did not exist for both of us. In those few hours of talking I felt that we fit in perfectly like a puzzle.

'If you are free the next weekend, we could hang out. What do you think?'

'I will have to think about it. I don’t think we should rush,' I replied. It wasn't love at first sight but I wanted this to be a whirlwind romance with a fairy tale ending. I was interested but didn’t want to show it to him. Who doesn't like making a man chasing you?

'Sure, let me walk you back to the metro.'

'Thanks. You are really sweet.' I smiled. It had been an evening of smiles for me. Had I found the man I always dream of? I wondered.

We spoke on phone every day for the whole week. I got to know that he had fought all odds at his home to struggle and make a life for himself in Delhi. He had fought with his parents who wanted him to handle the family business while he wanted to help people and make a name for himself. He had done his MBA from a good college and was working in the hospitality segment in a firm. I felt he was totally like me, fighting against the odds, struggling in the life, lonely yet full of dreams. We met many times in the next one month and fell for each other. His charming ways swept me off my feet. I did not see it coming but his words and the way he looked at me hit me somewhere in the corner of the heart. I knew I was vulnerable but I let out my deepest secrets to him and he did the same.

After almost two months of knowing and hanging out with him, I asked him to come over to my place. He came over with a bottle of wine and we had a great time. The first time we kissed it felt eternal and I was left flabbergasted at how good a kiss could be. I had kissed before but none left me as numb as this one. Over the period of next few months we felt deeper in love and ecstasy and made passionate love. Even though I wanted more and more of his love his work commitments always played a hindrance. I had already started dreaming about the future with him as we progressed further in love.

'Can I shift to your place?' He asked me all of a sudden one day while talking on phone. He had gone for an outstation visit for work. It had been three months of us together.

'What happened Danny?'

'There has been some issue at my rented apartment and I need a place to stay. The roommates have shifted today and I somehow convinced the land lord to let my stuff be there till I return.' He sounded distressed.

'Okay, no issues. You can come over. We will search together for a new place for you.'

For five months, we stayed together. I fell more and more in love while he showered me with all the care and love in the world. For some reason he had quit his job and was searching for a job as well. Whatever I earned was spent for both of us as he was struggling to make the ends meet. I was getting frustrated at all this responsibility but the heart wants what it wants.

I felt that if he can get himself a job my life would be all settled and done for good till one fine day a small incident brought me back to reality. In a space of two weeks some currency and some of my precious ornaments went missing from my place. I searched for them everywhere but to no avail. I didn’t even think that Danny could be the one for I was madly in love with him. A week later, one evening while I returned back from work I saw a note on my bed. It was from Danny. It said, "Leaving for hometown due to an urgent family matter, see you soon. Love!"

I tried calling him but his phone wasn’t reachable. I felt a little let down but all hell broke loose an hour later when the society watchman came along with a few policemen to search my place. They had an arrest warrant against Danny for a case of cheating. I didn’t know how to react. He had siphoned off two lakh rupees from the society manager. I cooperated with them and told them everything that I knew about him. They got on my nerves when they hinted that my family would be involved but somehow I managed to douse that fire. They were not able to trace him but I was entrusted with a task to tip them off whenever he contacted me. I tried to reach the bottom of the case with the help of the policemen but all I got was conflicting answers about him being a history sheeter.

A month passed by without any hint of this man I had been in love with. Multiple calls and texts went unanswered. Love, betrayal, treachery and the ocean of lies all came in front of my eyes when he called me from some unknown number telling me that he will be at my place in an hour. I literally forced my hands to tip off the police. I knew I loved this man but I also knew that it was my life that will be ruined if I didn’t tell them. Two hours later he was arrested from my place. For a month I had cried softly as I missed him but that day I was inconsolable. I wailed, scratched and cut myself. My whole life had been torn apart.

Two months later I gathered courage to go and see him at the jail. I still felt the void without him in my life but I had been told by the policemen about a lot of things that I wanted to hear from him for my heart to actually believe. I saw him through the glass door coming towards the meeting hall.

I could see him clearly as he walked with his eyes towards the floor.

He walked slower than what I had even seen him walk. His face was pale, his shoulders dropping with each step, his eyes moist and his confidence shaken.

He sat in the chair in front of me and did not even meet my eyes. He held my hands softly as if it was the last time he was feeling the touch and began to sob. I had been composed all this while waiting for him but could not control my emotions any longer. More than the hurt and the adversities he had caused for me, I felt broke because I felt his whole persona had come crashing down to ground. I felt his soul had been torn apart being among the other convicts.

'Please get me out of here. I am dying every day.' He wailed holding my hands close to his face.

'Did you do what they have caught you for?' I asked with a straight face.

'Yes.'

'Why?'

'I couldn’t help it.'

'What do you mean? You are an MBA and you couldn’t resist cheating a poor man of his money.' I was trying to hold my emotions in check and being as kind as possible. He struggled to lift his head up and looked right in my eyes. I felt he was going to shake the roots of my belief in him.

'I am not a MBA. It’s all a lie. Whatever I told you was a lie. But my love for you was real and pure. It still is, I want you to be with me forever Rhea.'

'What do you mean? What are you then?' My innocence did not let me understand his words.

'I am a drop out who makes his living by cheating people. But I did not cheat you, I promise with my head.'
'Shut up.' I cut him off. My temper had been snapped badly.

'You mean everything you told me about you, your background, and your family was a lie.

Was it you who had stolen the cash from my wardrobe and also those bangles, the ones my mother had gifted me?' My eyes went red with anger. He did not reply, he couldn’t see me in the eyes.

'Reply something, god dammit.'

''es,' he said with a lump in his throat.

'I stole your stuff; I stole from a lot of people. I am addicted to stealing things. But Rhea I am not a bad person. I still care for you and I need you.' He was teary eyed again as he said.

'Is Danny your real name?'

'No,' he replied. I slowly withdrew my hands from his, looked at the people sitting on my right. My bubble of innocence and self-composure was about to shatter. I wanted to run away and cry my heart out. I didn’t speak a word for a few seconds and he continued to look at me with dreamy eyes. The same eyes that had made me fall for him in the first place. From the corner of my eye I could see hopelessness on him but I did not want to relent this time.

'Please talk to me,' he pleaded.

'I came here to know the truth. All this time my heart did not let me believe anything they said about you. I had even called a lawyer two days back to help you get out of here but I am not going in that direction again.' I replied and slowly started to get up from the chair.

'Please Rhea, my life will be destroyed.' He wailed.

'What about my life Danny? What about me? What about my emotions? What about my frail vulnerabilities that you crushed with all your might?'

'Please. I still love you. My love for you was pure, trust me.' He tried to hold on to my hand.

'Trust you? Are you serious? With what all you have done and told me in the past one year and one fine day you tell me that all of that was a blatant lie, you tell me to trust you. The man I knew, the man I fell in love with, the man I let in my house, in my heart, in my pants and my soul is not the one I am talking to right now. You are not the same man. You aren’t even Danny. I am sorry. I can’t do anything for you. Not anymore.'

'You mean the world to me. He cried with hands folded.'

'You meant the universe to me till you shattered my belief in love and trust. I opened my heart to you and all you opened was your pants and a shit full of lies and garbage. I don’t want to see your filthy face again, lest you try to convince me with some other lie. I am done forever.'

I could not control my emotions anymore as I started crying and rushed out of the hall. I could hear him shouting and pleading as I closed the door behind me and set foot outside. The chill around the jail campus hit me hard as I tried to walk a few steps towards the exit. My legs could not take it anymore and I went down on the knees and held my face in my palms and wailed. I felt my world had come crashing down.

A few minutes later when I noticed the people in the jail campus looking at me awkwardly, I quickly gathered myself up and hurriedly walked out of the main gate. I took a deep breath and did not even look back once. I knew it was up to me to take control of my life. I also knew that turning to alcohol would ruin my health and my mind, so I turned to the most positive yet the worst thing that one can turn to in those times.

Upon reaching back home, I reinstalled the dating apps and began swiping again. I hope, Love is just a swipe away.

Mohabbat ya Ibadat

Kya aaj fir mohabbat rang laayegi,
chuukar un labon ko muskurahat sii aayegi.
Un aakhon mai hai mastiyan,
unki baato mai hai kashish,
sunke wo khayal aaj toh deewangii si chaayegi,
kya aaj fir mohabbat rang laayegi.

wo lamhe , wo pal guzar gaye hain kyu,
unki ibadatt mai junoon ki lehar daud jaaegi.
unke jaane ka hai khauf,
wapis aane ka hai intezaar
ruki hui dhadhkane fir se toofan dikh laayengi
kya aaj fir mohabbat rang laayegi..

Love Jihad - Short Story

Syed and Gayatri didn't mean to fall in love. But love happens when you least expect it. It creeps up suddenly, when someone needs attention, care, conversation, laughter and maybe even intimacy. Love doesn't look at logic, or at backgrounds and least of all, religion.

Gayatri was from a very conservative South Indian family that went to a temple every Saturday. Syed bought goats for his family every Eid. That said it all. Their paths would never have crossed if it hadn't been for that fateful day. That day when he walked into the coffee shop. Gayatri wondered if destiny chose our loved ones for us. Did we have any role to play at all?

She looked at her watch. Syed was late. They met every Thursday at five pm to catch up. Their conversation lasted for hours. Sometimes at the cafe, sometimes in his car, sometimes in places that she could never tell her friends about. They would never understand. And yet Syed made her happy.

Suddenly her phone beeped. He had sent a message. "On my way. Have something important to tell you."

Gayatri stared at it and realised she had knots in her stomach. Thoughts flooded her mind. What did he want to tell her?

Trying to calm herself down, she did let her brain to take her down the memory lane to the first time their eyes had met. Whenever she felt nervous, depressed or a trifle let down by life she had made it a point to remember that one day, for it made her heart feel the pangs of joy every time. She had been sipping coffee in the same café waiting for a colleague who was to provide her an important piece related to the article she was doing and her eyes fell on the man just walking in. That charming smile, the perfectly placed muffler, the confidence in the gait and the rugged manly looks; he had cast a stupor on her curios mind.

I caught you staring at me, Miss Indian Press. He had a coffee in his hand and was muttering under his breath, low enough to not alert the other people sitting around and loud enough to bring Gayatri out of her thoughts. Gayatri had an ID card of an Indian New Channel around her neck which pretty much gave her identity away.

I’m sorry. Did I stare at you? I think you are mistaken. She quickly sat up straight, adjusted her clothes a bit and gave him a totally nonchalant reaction.

These eyes can spot and shoot a man at a mile with deadly precision. How can they miss this charming woman looking through my soul?

Shoot a man at a mile. Are you a special sniper or a trained mercenary?

Whatever you feel like imagining.

Just one line left her so intrigued and flabbergasted that she very quickly forgot the main motive of being in that café and a conversation followed. The rugged guy with eagle eyes and the pretty woman with a curiosity laden voice and questions got along like a tea pot on fire. Her colleague did not show until a good half an hour had passed and she had been very well introduced to the enigma named Syed. The enigma who over the course of next few weeks would take her to treks that she had only imagined in her dreams, who would help her in her quest of being a successful war time journalist at the same time a philanthropist,

Mam, your coffee is here. The words of the server brought her back to the present. She had a quivering smile on her lips as she thanked the server. Being a regular to the café the manager knew how she liked her coffee and had it perfectly brewed as per her taste.

It tastes great, just like every time. She thanked the server politely and he went his way.

Why does the mind always go back to the first meeting with Syed when they have made many better memories ever since? She thought to herself but let it pass with the piping hot coffee numbing her brain for some moments. It had been two months of a whirlwind and emotional connection with him and it showed no sign of waning. She prayed it never ends, she loved it that way. The sense of unpredictability, vulnerability and awesomeness combined at the same time.

Syed had a weird look on him as he entered the café. Gayatri felt as if he was trying to force a smile to hide something. The smile vanished from Gayatri’s face and anxiousness took over.

Hey, is everything all right? She asked him.

Yes, everything is fine. Have a seat. Why do you look worried?

See yourself in the mirror right now and you shall get an answer. I am tensed because you look real worried about something. Spill it out.

Not here. We need to go somewhere quiet.

Where would you find any place quieter than this?

I have a place in mind. Syed was being quick in his replies. Gayatri felt something tugging at her brain cells asking her to not leave this place. But then, the heart wants what the heart wants. She could never say no to him having already lost her heart to his charming ways.

They got in his car and they crossed all the familiar places where they used to spend time with each other. The bridge near the river passed by and Gayatri’s heart began pounding fast.

Where are we going? She thought to herself.

Syed wasn’t that keen on talking as he concentrated on the road allowing Gayatri the chance to observe the roads they were going through. The car screeched through a narrow lane and a few familiar houses passed her vision.

Why are we going through this place again? Have you lost the way?

No, I am just making sure no one is following us.

Following? What the hell is the matter? I thought there is enough peace here to not disturb the privacy of two individuals.

My cover has been blown. I am being followed everywhere.

This is not possible. Who can do that?

Our own people, they don’t keep a fish in water for too many months. They just pluck it out and throw it away.

Did you notice a man sitting near the manager at the coffee shop all the time that you were there. He must not have let you get out of his sight.

No, I did not pay attention. Moreover you are the one being followed. Why would anyone follow me?

Syed gave a discomforted look. Gayatri stared at his eyes and recollected a conversation they had during the initial days of knowing each other. He had mentioned the ever present danger of being seen with him for he spied on the Anti-Indian movement in Srinagar and the other parts in the valley. She had been overwhelmed by the fact that a man in Srinagar could risk his own life to spy on the fundamentalists, who were his own people just because he did not want Kashmir to cease being a part of India. It was all beginning to make sense now.

What are you thinking? Syed asked concerned that Gayatri had stopped talking for a few seconds.

I think I realize the danger we are in. What do we do now?

We go to a secret place. We lay low for a few days and then you can continue doing what you have been.

What about you?

I will disappear. Syed said with an emotionless face and Gayatri’s eyes swelled up.

Isn’t that so easy to say for you? What about me? What about my love for you? What about us? She was crying loud as Syed tried to hold onto his emotions while looking around the road for any followers as well.

Disappear with me then. Can you? Syed sounded cold. It seemed he had lost all his emotions in a single day.

Are you mad? What will happen to my family back there in my town? Think about them.

Do you know what will happen to my family here if we get caught?

No. She sounded scared.

They will be massacred with the label of traitors. I don’t want that to happen to you. I love you.

I love you too. Gayatri smiled for the first time since having met him today. She started to think about them meeting during the last few days. She was trying hard to understand if there had been clear signs that she had missed. Was it just the agony of this one day that was making him behave like that or had it been coming due to some other events as well.

Syed drove through a down slope road and turned right into an alley. He brought the car to a halt a few blocks later. Can you walk?

Yes, off course. Anything for you!

They took off from the car and entered the lanes of downtown Srinagar. The lanes famous for the fundamentalists and the slogan shouting population seemed so quite at this time of the evening.

I am scared. She held his hand and whispered.

So am i. We will see this through together.

As soon as they entered an old looking house after walking for ten minutes, Gayatri did not like the vibes. Syed led her through the door into a set of rooms and opened the door for her.

She walked in and a bright light flashed hard at her eyes. She felt a strong urge to run out of there but something hit her hard on her neck. She tried to stay on her feet for a few seconds before the rod stuck again this time more vigorously knocking her out. She was picked up by someone and tied to a chair. A few hours later when she regained conscious, she felt week. She wanted to call out for help, call for Syed but her voice was too frail. Her body felt limp as she realized she was tied with ropes. Someone threw water at her face and she began to see a little clearly. Standing right in front of her was Syed with an assault rifle on his shoulders. He was smiling like he had caught the biggest prize of his life.

Why Syed? Why me? That was all she could muster with that pain in her head. She wanted to cry but tears did not escape her eyes. The devilish smile on Syed’s face made her lose her breath and cause a blackout in front of her eyes. She lay there unconscious at the mercy of a man she thought was a spy for the country. What he actually was she would never know.

Goa Diaries - Short Story

In the middle of the flight, Kiara woke up to go to the washroom. When she returned, she was too lazy to push her way into the middle seat. And with Rishaan readily offering to shift seats, the seating arrangement changed. With 20 minutes still remaining for the flight to land, a sleep starved Kiara took another power nap, this time holding Rishaan's right hand more firmly. Rishaan's other hand, though, nervously moved to touch Diya's. Her heart skipped a beat. Diya pulled her hand away. But a defiant Rishaan held her wrist again, this time firmly and more reassuringly. The changing behavioral dynamics between the three perhaps gave out a foreboding of what was to come in Goa.

When the flight landed at Dabolim Airport, Rishaan felt uncanny. His excitement seemed replaced by an unknown fear that he found very difficult to decipher.

It was not unusual to have feelings for multiple women at the same time considering the fact that the world had moved towards polygamy but in a country like India it was still considered a taboo and Rishaan was hell bent on breaking the stereotypes.

They took a cab with the other college friends following suit and checked into the resort already booked. The resort overlooking Candolim Beach was so serene that a few moments later the fear left Rishaan. Being a beach person he loved coming to Goa but this was the first time he was here along with his friends.

Having already visited Goa thrice with family, Rishaan was sort of a guide for the other friends including Kiara. He had already chalked out the plans to visit different places and the clubs where they were to let their hair down without anyone posing a question to his wisdom. It did feel great to be the center of attraction.

Diya on the other hand was trying to steer clear of Rishaan. She had made an excuse of feeling tired after the flight and had not come out of the room. She had a crush on Rishaan since the first time they had met. She knew it was just an infatuation for the guy was quite good looking but she was not going to backstab her best female friend for the sake of carnal desires. She had a few affairs in the past and was aware that Rishaan knew about the same. It was her friendship and the pious bond she shared with Kiara that was at stake for she did not want her emotions to entrap her in a web of betrayal.

Kiara being the sweet innocent girl she had always been was madly in love with Rishaan and had the utmost respect for Diya. She did not even have a hint of what was going on behind her back for her trust was blind and the soul pure enough to never doubt the people she held close to her heart.

Rishaan having left the fear aside with a few pints of beer had a jolly good time with Kiara roaming around the Goan markets and chilling on the beach shacks. Diya tried to keep herself busy with the other college friends lest she has to interact more with Rishaan but she had no clue about his relentlessness. As already decided they went clubbing and made merry dancing and drinking the night away. Diya was surprised and happy as she had avoided any untoward scene but was circumspect that there was something to follow. She slept with a swiss knife under her pillow the first and the second night but was relieved that she didn’t have to use it.

It was on the third night that Diya realized that life could take a bad turn. All of them were drunk and were playing truth and dare in the hotel hall when Kiara got a few drinks and began to chit chat with Diya. They both had a few pints of beer and were giggling like long lost friends when Diya felt a little drowsy. She felt she had lost her legs and decided to take everyone's leave and call it a day. She went into her room and locked it having given her spare keys to Disha, her roommate.

She fell asleep within a matter of minutes as the alcohol high had numbed her senses. An hour later the door to her room creaked open and disturbed her a bit. She turned to the other side subconsciously making space on the bed for her roommate. It was after a while that Diya felt a pair of hands touching her inappropriately. The hands were being run all over her body exploring her curves while she lay there lifeless without being able to move a muscle. She wanted to shout but the lips were soon engulfed by someone else’s passionate kisses. She felt the entire energy being sucked out of her as the hands reached inside her clothes making her twitch her toes and clench her fists even harder. She could not do anything as the passion rose a few notches and did not stop at that.

She was woken up by noises and blaring sirens. Her head felt heavy and the body too light to even ponder about moving an inch. The feeling of drowsiness was broken when a few college mates entered the room along with a policeman. She glanced around and saw 8AM in the wall clock.

Let’s get moving fast, we need to check all the rooms and interrogate everyone. The narcotics team is on its way. The policeman who had entered the room with Disha shouted in a commanding tone.

What has happened? What’s the commotion for? Diya asked in a tired and surprised tone.

Weren’t you woken up by the noises?

I have no idea, tell me about it. She replied trying hard to keep her head clear and eyes fully open.

Mam , you need to assemble outside. Make it quick. The policeman cut their conversation off.

Sir, we should wait outside, till she gets dressed and comes out. Disha said confidently.

Diya meanwhile was trying to get her bearings right for she did not remember what had transpired the previous night. All she could remember was drinking and gossiping with Kiara.

But where was her best friend, she thought to herself.

She quickly freshened up and got dressed. The students were lined up in the hall and the rooms were being checked one by one. The empty bottles and the trash were being checked in the kitchen maybe for the presence of narcotic substances. The party had gotten over just a few hours earlier and the people were reeking of alcohol and smoke. The stench of the smoked up weed could still be felt at the corners of the damp hall.

Where is Kiara? She asked some of the college mates standing beside her.

As no one answered, she wondered if things are being hidden from her. Sometime later Diya and two more people were asked to accompany the policeman to the small room at the end of the lobby. Nervousness was written across their faces. Diya was trembling thinking about what was happening around destroying their vacations.

I saw him going in the direction of her room; ask this bitch what she has done to him. Kiara wailed and shouted her lungs out pointing her finger in Diya’s direction as soon as the policeman entered the room with her. The plain clothed woman that Diya did not recognize was trying to console Kiara as she was on the verge of breaking down, nth time since she had been brought to light about the developments in the hotel.

I don’t understand what’s happening. Can anyone tell me what’s wrong and what all this fuss is about? I have woken up half an hour earlier and here I am being accused of something I have no idea about. Diya was trying to be as calm as possible.

You selfish double faced bitch, you almost killed Rishaan and you act as if nothing has happened. Kiara retorted from the far corner bustling with anger in between the tears.

What the hell are you rambling Kiara? I have no idea about what’s happening. I passed out last night after having beer with you. Where is he?

He is in a hospital, the officer sitting at the nearby chair replied in a composed voice.

What has happened to him? Is he all right?

He is in a serious condition, doctors said he has injuries all over his body made of a sharp object and has lost a lot of blood.

Oh shit. But why is she making me the culprit? Why would anyone do that to Rishaan here?

We are not sure of the motive yet. We are questioning everyone and have also arranged for a blood test for all the people in this group of yours.

How will that help?

We are yet to find the object with which the assault took place or any evidence about the culprit but we did find some tablets in Rishaan’s backpack, ketamine, the date rape drug. We want to check if that was used anywhere last night.

But a drug won’t cause murder. Will it?

It can cause the murdered to forget everything that he or she did.

Goodness me. Diya was shit scared. She still did not remember anything after having the conversation and beer with Kiara last night. Was she sedated by someone? She thought to herself.

She ran to her room as fast as she could. Tears swelled up her eyes as she pressed her throbbing head with both her hands trying to remember what she was missing. It seemed impossible to gather the thoughts to find out what had happened and her head seemed too heavy. Her roommate walked in at that moment and sensing Diya’s discomfort tried to hug her reassuringly.

I am not able to remember anything about last night. My mind seems totally blank after having come here to sleep last night. She cried holding Disha quite close.

It’s ok honey. You must have been high and the hangover must be lingering. I will get you some lime juice. You should calm down and take rest.

Disha came back with some juice and forced Diya to gulp it down quickly. She also got a few disprin pills to help her relax.

With a numb head she was made to lie down and sleep. The sleep evaded her and all she could think of was about last night, the night and the events which somehow seemed to be out of order. She stressed hard closing her eyes and soon fell asleep.

An hour later she woke up a loud thud and in a sub conscious state a flash of memory went past her eyes. All she could remember was a pillion ride on a scooty.

Had she gone out with someone during the night? She wondered trying to remember the memory flash and struggling to keep the eyes open. Her head still felt like fucked up with some pent up emotions and botched up memories. She closed her eyes and tried to find sleep again. A few minutes had passed when she thought she saw a beer bottle being used to attack someone. She had a vision of blood and she got up to sit straight on the bed with sweat all over her face.

Was it the events of the entire day that were taking a toll on her mental being or was it something that she couldn’t clearly remember but had transpired. Her thoughts were filled with confusion and fear.

** To be continued**

Kashmiriyat - from a Kashmiri's Pen !

I grew up reading a newspaper that had a prominent headline of a terrorist being killed almost every day in an anti-insurgent operation. A terror attack did ring the alarm bells but i never found such things holding attention of too many people for a prolonged time. It seemed that even though these dastardly acts have been happening for a long time but sooner or later they might stop. For a decade or so after having moved out of the state and reading about the decreased reports of counter terrorist operations i had begun to hope against hope that something called peace may finally prevail across the valley. Even though there was a lot of unrest coming up in other areas of the world leading to a lot of innocent people being killed all around but somehow a glitter of light presented itself in the Kashmir valley. Mass activities by the governments to get across jobs and educations to the people, reports of youth returning to setup businesses , to scale up coaching institutes sparked that fire of hope again.

Come July 2016 and a terrorist is proclaimed a hero and splashed across all the media houses over the electronic and print mediums and more than ten days after this drama started i still wonder why. 
I read the reports, the blogs, the nationalistic and anti-national views that people have, the sympathizers for the people living in Kashmir and the people against them, the statements of politicians and activists suggesting he should not have been killed and open letters addressing what the armed forces have been facing in the last two weeks in the valley. All this while i fail to understand why was "this kid gone wrong" given so much mileage and brought to the national attention. Wasn't he just like one of those thousands terrorists who have been accorded the term martyr all these years that terrorism has infested the state with. Shouldn't this guy have gone to oblivion just like them for all of them raised arms against this Nation and they don't deserve anything better?

They say that they took to guns because their brothers, family members were killed by the armed forces. If we go by that logic then lakhs of Kashmiri Pandits should have taken up arms against their neighbours who had been living with them for generations. The Sikhs should have gone on a killing spree after scores of them were massacred at a point blank range in Chittisingpura. If picking up arms and creating videos on social media threatening the armed forces who till last year were helping and protecting your own people during the floods is the way to retaliate then i guess a serious introspection needs to be carried out among the youth living in the country. If this is what they call Aazadi then they do need to be taught the meaning of freedom all over again. The IAS officers and the cricketers should have been made heroes and emulated by the youth instead what we see is people throwing stones at armed forces just because they killed a terrorist who threatened to kill the army men. 

Do the people who hold sympathies for the killed terrorists even remember a man named Farooq Dar ( Bitta Karate)  who was garlanded at his home town a decade back after his release from captivity just because the people remembered his so called great deeds. The deeds which involved killing more than fifty people from point blank range in the starting 90's and which would have warranted much more than just getting an imprisonment for sixteen years. Would these so called intellectuals still sympathize with such people just because their minds do not intend to understand the gravity of the deeds that have already been  performed?
They call it the heaven on earth, but as far as my memory goes I have grown up to the reports and media shots of the heaven being burnt, of hell being blown over upon everyone living there or associated with the people who resided there. I can't really think of this ideological and demographical difference between people of almost the same area being resolved in the near future but i feel that Kashmir doesn't really need separatists. It doesn't need Burhan Wani and the people like him wielding guns and it doesn't need their ideologies. It needs its own people who are willing to put their blood and sweat on boil to see the state grow out of this turmoil. It needs new heroes and new people who are willing to foresee the future. It needs people who could understand that the tourism industry can only thrive with the help of the Indian people and not when Kashmir is an independent entity. It needs people who believe in their own dreams for all of us Indians dream that the Crown of this Country would someday become the shining light for the world to see.

Being a Kashmiri who doesn't have any memories of visiting the so called heaven i deeply wish that someday there is enough harmony to allure the youngsters to go back to the place where their forefathers lived and grew up so that they could breathe the so called fresh air with some lasting peace and take down happy memories forever. 


"kho sii gayii hai wo Junnuniyat aur wo Insaaniyat, 
kho gayii hai wo jannat naa dikhti hai ab kahii mohabbat,
na kuch karne ka junnon hai, na kisi insaan ke liye hai duaa..
karni padegi mehnat, chodke us bandook ka yeh nasha,
chalo chalen fir paane un vaadiyo ki wo mehakti hawa...!"

Delhi Metro - From the eyes of many observers

With a single ouch the whole metro compartment is brought alight. Men are the first to turn their heads, for an oh so pretty voice is always followed by a charming priceless body and face of a woman. The body is always ogled at first living in the national capital of this country.
Women folk as they should, turn their heads towards the voice that's moving a little towards them. What they expect is a little difficult to comprehend and write here. Maybe they want to check the fashion statement of the pretty voice. A few pretty sounds of excuse me turn two lines of people and all of them stare in wonder.

Boy , do they check the fashion trend when he comes in through the crowd. 

Yellow hot pants, blue ganjii, hugging the skin at all the curves, full framed spectacles, hair in a neat pony tail, waxed arms and legs, twinkling eyes and a confidence worth a hundred bofors guns.
The earphones blaring loud music and without a care about the world and the people that filled the area he walks towards the other exit door having changed the atmosphere of the whole compartment. 

Many lose their sleep, the others come out of the laziness after a long day at work. Some start giggling, the others stare in disbelief, the remaining jeer and some just give a wry smile and go on with their own business.
All you do is wonder about how a human can bring about a change in the whole mood around just by showing off a sexual orientation that many say is unnatural while inspiring others to write when the brain is dastardly stuck in a writers block.

The brain doesn't know that the fun of observance has not stopped yet. A middle aged man we can call uncle tired and exhausted after a long day at work sits right next to a youngster. The young gun makes a little adjustment and gives him some space to sit properly when there hardly exists any.
A while later you see something going up the youngster's hip and you don't give it much of a thought for its only the girls who get touched inappropriately as the world sees and says it.
A few minutes later the hand presses the hip, you see a young face filled with rage and feel a shiver down your own spine. You see and in an instant imagine how that youngster would  have felt at that touch. The very next moment when you look at the uncle full of weird feelings he just has his eyes closed trying to come across as nothing has happened.
A moment of thought later when you think about letting it go and being tolerant as the youngster is being you hear a complaining voice asking the middle aged man to either get up or shift a little as the seat is not comfortable. The youngster does not raise his voice too much lest the other passengers start getting creeped out. Uncle says sorry and gets up from the seat to get down at the next station and you try to have a good look at the middle aged man trying to understand what made him do what he just did. The look in the eyes and on the face are bereft of any emotions, maybe he is trying to hide something or maybe the world is making him hide things that should not be spoken of.

When the man gets down all the brain does is wonder about the two people, one who shows the world his actual orientation and the leaves an impact on many and the other who touches a young man's body and hits your nerves leaving you speechless and thoughtless for more than a few moments.



#delhimetro 

Delhi Metro - from an observer's eyes yet again !

The thirst of observing people around us does not cease even for a minute in the vast ocean of souls available in front of us. I have no idea why do i write every time about the same topic, the metro. Sometimes it feels like a constant companion with its closed doors taking along a multitude of emotions on display, just needing a keen eye to comprehend them a little.

Maybe it is the feeling that comes from the inside when you see a family of four sitting on the floor of the coach with their luggage most probably going to the New Delhi railway station. Did they lose their fight against the cunning by lanes of this city or are they on a journey to get back a few charming moments in their life by visiting their home town or gao as people suggest nowadays.

The wandering mind begins to ponder as the eyes are set upon two sophisticated professionals dressed in what seems like the best attire for a sales meeting. Targets, loans, cars , wives, children, vacations and the lives seem to be invoked in this never ending discussion that i believe happens every morning without an end in sight. The end that exists on the other end of the dark tunnel called as rat race. The end most of the people engrossed in the race are afraid to even get a sight of.

The eyes are then allured to stare at a handsome looking man and the brain so quickly tries to gather the reasons of why a handsome man is never stared at or leched at while a pretty woman gets to have all the attention around. Is it the mindset or is it the education system that taught men to stare openly at women while at the same time convincing the women in hushed up tones to look at men with such deceit that the world can never notice.

The eyes and the mind quickly move from the good looking man to a pretty smiling female as soon as she enters the coach for that's what all the men ought to do. The mind starts to conjure questions whether the affectionate smile is being directed towards the man in sight or is it the natural look that makes everyone believe that the perfectly curved lips are spreading a charm unparalleled. The mind does go numb when a female smiles looking in your direction, a numbness that often people mistake for a flutter of hearts and term it love at first sight. Or is it the other way round ? Maybe it is all dependent upon the perspectives of the people involved.

So, till the time we actually do learn the differences between these concepts and many other concepts plaguing the modern world, we can continue to relish observing the souls around and penning down whatever comes to mind like i usually do.!


#delhimetro 

Delhi Metro - from an Observer's eyes

The child with the biscuit cream spread all over his stern face looking disappointed at having been stopped from devouring any more biscuits did make a pretty picture or maybe a nice thought to start writing about something that i call the lifeline of the National Capital of this country.
Or was it the oh so pretty kohl eyed long coat wearing female who described the entire essence of the city just by looking at the stern child with an all so shining smiling face just because she was kind of not liking him with that sulking face.
It could also have been a foreigner couple dressed to the extreme hilt of being called hippies. Tall bearded guy with a shoulder length hair wearing no woolens in the so called Delhi winters walking hand in hand with his partner draped in the simplest clothes you would ever imagine a foreigner wearing out here.
Or was it the scene of the two ladies talking to each other in what they thought were hushed tones bitching about the foreigner couple displaying affection in a public area.
It could also have been a married couple looking with all the parental love towards their child who was trying a few steps at pole dancing hanging about the nearby pole for support.
Or was it the stereotypical man trying to observe everyone commuting in the coach just because like me he had nothing better to do.
Even though the current footfall numbers have become unreasonable and unbearable for the common man, it continues to give some people a chance of improving their observatory skills for you don't often get such a huge variety of souls at a single place without them having the slightest hint of the fact that there are people around who would read their faces and body language just to quench their own thirst.

#delhimetro 

The Confession

'Are you sure, Rhea?' asks my mother.

'Of course I'm. Survival of the fittest, mother. I'm not going against Darwin. Also I don't want unnecessary scars on my body.'

It's a known fact that we are all born to die. And frankly, I don't understand why it has to be made into such a big deal. If it were not for my mother I would have said that to the bunch of people outside my house, some of them with young kids, shouting slogans, waving placards, literally wanting me to cut one of my beating hearts out. "Save A Life. Donate!" they shout.

For someone who is one in billions, 7.125 billion to be exact, I expect to be treated better. Scientists are still befuddled regarding my condition that gave me two hearts in my mother's womb. But years of research and sticking needles into me have led them nowhere, and they have labelled me as a freak mutation. It's so rare - literally one in all humankind - that they didn't even name the anomaly (as they call it, I will call it awesomeness). I wanted to name the condition myself, something on the lines of Rhea's Heartsawesome but the doctors aren't thrilled with the suggestion. Instead they want to cut one of them out and save a life. Huh?

An IQ of 180, increased concentration, exceptional athleticism and a phenomenal metabolism rate - are just the few boring benefits of an increased blood circulation. Why would I ever give that up?

It better be as good as the last controversial decision you made in your life. Says mom.

Don’t worry, I make the best decisions mom. As of now, I am going out to get some fresh air.

What? There are people outside wanting your heart. Mom is showing concern as usual.

There was one who tried. Look where he is now.

There is trouble lurking outside and you want to go right at it. Have you gone crazy? Mom asks in a dramatically concerned tone, something I have never been used to.

As I said, I know what I am doing. I will take the back gate and I believe no one is going to be there waiting for me to arrive. I will go to the park for a run and grab something to eat as well.

You want something?

No, just come back soon.

I went into my room, changed into my comfy clothes and running shoes. The i-pod as always was ready and I was totally charged up to head into the outer world and put all of this at the back of my mind by going for a run. I somehow managed to use the back gate to rush out of the society to avoid the prying eyes and the media at the main gate. Halfway through the run in the park it somehow began to drizzle and instead of feeling all cheered up I felt weak in my knees.

What is happening to me? I started to wonder.

My mind went back to the decision my mom had talked about fifteen minutes ago. The decision, the self-righteousness and the man it all came back and after a real long time I felt some wetness around my eyes.

Those eyes that stared from his picture when he as a stranger sent that message, the so soft spoken charming voice, the confident poise when I finally gathered courage to meet the first online male friend ever, which somehow turned out to be the last as well, all the thoughts that I had managed to keep out of my mind overwhelmed me.

From the corner of the eyes I could see a pale shadow of someone I thought I knew. With the rain having drenched me totally and without a control on my tears I wasn’t able to fathom who this could be till I felt a hand gently touch my shoulder and an umbrella cover me.

Are you ok, sweetheart? A middle aged but fit looking bespectacled man had me under his watchful gaze.

It has started to rain heavily, let me walk you home.

Thanks for your concern but I can manage.

Someone who is shedding tears in such a romantic weather cannot manage I guess.

I am stronger than what my tears are making you perceive me as.

I am sure you are, but I would suggest not getting drenched at this time of the year. We can go to the nearby tea stall to get some cover from the rain in case you doubt I would be a stalker if I walk you off till your home.

This man had something in him, some mystic charm in his eyes that made me smile and for a moment I did forget about the stuff I had been through. We went to the nearby tea stall and he got piping hot tea while I tried to sit on a not so clean bench to compose myself.

So who is the guy who broke your heart? He asked with curiosity laden eyes.

Excuse me, what are you talking about?

The tears, the sudden loss of balance and the sadness in this weather, they all point to heartbreak.

For someone who has two hearts and is one in a billion, heartbreak isn’t that tough a thing to deal with. I had some zeal back in my voice.

This does make me a little more curious to know about you and your story, if you are willing to share it over tea. I do have all the time to listen.

Ok, I guess I have to give in.

That’s like a good girl. He said.

It began with a quirky message on the social media from an average looking stranger that caught my attention. I had never been a fan of entertaining people from the virtual world but this one seemed different. We were different yet similar in many aspects of life, maybe that’s what helped us connect, we interacted enough to become friends online, exchanged numbers and following some long conversations decided to give blind dating a chance. I won’t even call it a blind date.

Isn’t a date, a date? Whatever you call it. He interrupted to break my flow.

I don’t like being interrupted when I am the one telling the story.

Oh, sorry, couldn’t stop myself.

So we went out once and unexpectedly for me we did have a connection. His eyes and his way with words drew me towards him. I knew I was interested but did not want to be an easy catch so played the usual hard to get card and surprisingly he chased me. Cheesy one liners, surprise gifts, meeting for coffee at odd hours and flowers, he had started to get on my nerves.

Was it like you were interested and he never go a whiff of that?

Precisely, I have always liked it that way.

A male charmer, I must say.

I would disagree.

Ok, so you were at him getting on your nerves. I would like to know more about him.

This old man was intriguing me with his words, his curiosity and the listening skills that I had hardly seen in men. Don’t know why but I felt a sensation of telling him the whole story I hadn’t even told my mom.

I am thinking, you would be the first to know the whole truth. I am a little concerned if you would be able to digest the entire story. I said with a smile to try and catch him off guard.

Maybe you can try and check my digestion. He replied with such a calm demeanor that I had to somehow give up.

He was like this fresh air that had crept into my life somehow. I was a freak, hyperactive, always up to something; he tried bringing a sense of calmness into my being and somehow succeeded. I became a bit more relaxed and sorted in my day to day life, I looked at things from his perspective as he was intriguing me every day. I changed not for him but because of him and I let my guard down to finally fall in love.

This is so sweet. The stranger said with his eyes staring at me as if looking deep into my soul.

Yeah you can call it sweet, I call it my life. I trusted him more than anyone in this world, not even my own family got in that zone. I shared my deepest secrets and desires and he listened very patiently. I was in awe of him till one day I found some of my money stolen from my bag. After a small investigation I suspected him to have taken the money and confronted him. He blatantly agreed to have done so and promised it won’t be repeated. He was so convincing that I agreed to the story he filled my ears with. The love never waned.

Was this like the beginning of something, something suspicious?

I constantly reminded myself of being in love with him while I was actually suspicious. Just the one incident had played on my mind and my trust factor.

What happened next?

It’s difficult to spell that out but I will, just for you. I smiled staring back in his eyes. I was feeling enamored already.

He had fully owned the responsibility of the incident and the life went on as it was, the gifts never stopped but I never really learnt the actual him till one fine day that tore me apart.

A few members of the society where I live in along with the guards and some policemen knocked on our door and asked for me. They told me that a male friend of mine has been arrested and asked for me to meet him at the lockup. The name they told me did not ring a bell and yet I went alongside. I was briefed about the case, about the thefts and the frauds he had committed. They told me about how this friend looks and I was taken aback.

No, it cannot be possible. I said

What is not possible? They asked surprised.

The description you just gave is that of my boyfriend and he is in Shimla with his family.

Why don’t you see for yourself mam? They suggested.

What transpired at the police station left me dumbfounded for weeks on a stretch, the only guy I had fallen in love with had accepted all the charges levied against him. He was a fraud with an identity that had never been revealed to me. Whatever he had told about him, his friends, his job, the social media profiles, the stories, the romance and the whole damn life was a lie.

Flabbergasted, I went up to the lockup bars and could see his face clearly. He looked remorseless; I felt like killing myself but did not even shed a tear. Why? I asked him looking dead into his eyes.

I am sorry. That was all he could utter as he folded his hands asking me for forgiveness and started crying.

I looked at him for a good one minute and turned around. I felt breathless.

My love was not a lie, please get me out of here, I beg you. He wailed loud.

The ears of the woman he was crying to had gone deaf.

I left the police station there and then, have never looked back ever since. In fact if my mother wouldn’t have brought something up today morning I would have never even thought about that man again, leave alone telling someone the story.

What was his name?

Samar, his real name is Manav as I was told.

You still love him, don’t you?

No I don’t.

I can see it in your eyes.

I am sorry but i would request you to keep your perceptions to yourself.

I can understand what you have gone through, I won’t say I can change that but I would say you are too strong a woman to let this all get the better of you. He said and rose up from the stool, came up close to me and gave me a comforting hug. He held my arms with his strong hands and sent a wave of dizziness through my spine.

I felt I was losing my control all over again, just by a single meeting with a guy who had just convinced me to tell him my deepest secret. I felt uneasy and stood up. I knew this was going to be weird and tough but I smiled at him looked him once straight in the eyes, thanked him and walked off. 

I was in tears on my way back home and my legs were giving in. I had told the deepest thoughts of my heart to a man who made me go weak in my knees with just one meeting. A stranger had just punctured my heart yet again.


#shortstories