The Confession

'Are you sure, Rhea?' asks my mother.

'Of course I'm. Survival of the fittest, mother. I'm not going against Darwin. Also I don't want unnecessary scars on my body.'

It's a known fact that we are all born to die. And frankly, I don't understand why it has to be made into such a big deal. If it were not for my mother I would have said that to the bunch of people outside my house, some of them with young kids, shouting slogans, waving placards, literally wanting me to cut one of my beating hearts out. "Save A Life. Donate!" they shout.

For someone who is one in billions, 7.125 billion to be exact, I expect to be treated better. Scientists are still befuddled regarding my condition that gave me two hearts in my mother's womb. But years of research and sticking needles into me have led them nowhere, and they have labelled me as a freak mutation. It's so rare - literally one in all humankind - that they didn't even name the anomaly (as they call it, I will call it awesomeness). I wanted to name the condition myself, something on the lines of Rhea's Heartsawesome but the doctors aren't thrilled with the suggestion. Instead they want to cut one of them out and save a life. Huh?

An IQ of 180, increased concentration, exceptional athleticism and a phenomenal metabolism rate - are just the few boring benefits of an increased blood circulation. Why would I ever give that up?

It better be as good as the last controversial decision you made in your life. Says mom.

Don’t worry, I make the best decisions mom. As of now, I am going out to get some fresh air.

What? There are people outside wanting your heart. Mom is showing concern as usual.

There was one who tried. Look where he is now.

There is trouble lurking outside and you want to go right at it. Have you gone crazy? Mom asks in a dramatically concerned tone, something I have never been used to.

As I said, I know what I am doing. I will take the back gate and I believe no one is going to be there waiting for me to arrive. I will go to the park for a run and grab something to eat as well.

You want something?

No, just come back soon.

I went into my room, changed into my comfy clothes and running shoes. The i-pod as always was ready and I was totally charged up to head into the outer world and put all of this at the back of my mind by going for a run. I somehow managed to use the back gate to rush out of the society to avoid the prying eyes and the media at the main gate. Halfway through the run in the park it somehow began to drizzle and instead of feeling all cheered up I felt weak in my knees.

What is happening to me? I started to wonder.

My mind went back to the decision my mom had talked about fifteen minutes ago. The decision, the self-righteousness and the man it all came back and after a real long time I felt some wetness around my eyes.

Those eyes that stared from his picture when he as a stranger sent that message, the so soft spoken charming voice, the confident poise when I finally gathered courage to meet the first online male friend ever, which somehow turned out to be the last as well, all the thoughts that I had managed to keep out of my mind overwhelmed me.

From the corner of the eyes I could see a pale shadow of someone I thought I knew. With the rain having drenched me totally and without a control on my tears I wasn’t able to fathom who this could be till I felt a hand gently touch my shoulder and an umbrella cover me.

Are you ok, sweetheart? A middle aged but fit looking bespectacled man had me under his watchful gaze.

It has started to rain heavily, let me walk you home.

Thanks for your concern but I can manage.

Someone who is shedding tears in such a romantic weather cannot manage I guess.

I am stronger than what my tears are making you perceive me as.

I am sure you are, but I would suggest not getting drenched at this time of the year. We can go to the nearby tea stall to get some cover from the rain in case you doubt I would be a stalker if I walk you off till your home.

This man had something in him, some mystic charm in his eyes that made me smile and for a moment I did forget about the stuff I had been through. We went to the nearby tea stall and he got piping hot tea while I tried to sit on a not so clean bench to compose myself.

So who is the guy who broke your heart? He asked with curiosity laden eyes.

Excuse me, what are you talking about?

The tears, the sudden loss of balance and the sadness in this weather, they all point to heartbreak.

For someone who has two hearts and is one in a billion, heartbreak isn’t that tough a thing to deal with. I had some zeal back in my voice.

This does make me a little more curious to know about you and your story, if you are willing to share it over tea. I do have all the time to listen.

Ok, I guess I have to give in.

That’s like a good girl. He said.

It began with a quirky message on the social media from an average looking stranger that caught my attention. I had never been a fan of entertaining people from the virtual world but this one seemed different. We were different yet similar in many aspects of life, maybe that’s what helped us connect, we interacted enough to become friends online, exchanged numbers and following some long conversations decided to give blind dating a chance. I won’t even call it a blind date.

Isn’t a date, a date? Whatever you call it. He interrupted to break my flow.

I don’t like being interrupted when I am the one telling the story.

Oh, sorry, couldn’t stop myself.

So we went out once and unexpectedly for me we did have a connection. His eyes and his way with words drew me towards him. I knew I was interested but did not want to be an easy catch so played the usual hard to get card and surprisingly he chased me. Cheesy one liners, surprise gifts, meeting for coffee at odd hours and flowers, he had started to get on my nerves.

Was it like you were interested and he never go a whiff of that?

Precisely, I have always liked it that way.

A male charmer, I must say.

I would disagree.

Ok, so you were at him getting on your nerves. I would like to know more about him.

This old man was intriguing me with his words, his curiosity and the listening skills that I had hardly seen in men. Don’t know why but I felt a sensation of telling him the whole story I hadn’t even told my mom.

I am thinking, you would be the first to know the whole truth. I am a little concerned if you would be able to digest the entire story. I said with a smile to try and catch him off guard.

Maybe you can try and check my digestion. He replied with such a calm demeanor that I had to somehow give up.

He was like this fresh air that had crept into my life somehow. I was a freak, hyperactive, always up to something; he tried bringing a sense of calmness into my being and somehow succeeded. I became a bit more relaxed and sorted in my day to day life, I looked at things from his perspective as he was intriguing me every day. I changed not for him but because of him and I let my guard down to finally fall in love.

This is so sweet. The stranger said with his eyes staring at me as if looking deep into my soul.

Yeah you can call it sweet, I call it my life. I trusted him more than anyone in this world, not even my own family got in that zone. I shared my deepest secrets and desires and he listened very patiently. I was in awe of him till one day I found some of my money stolen from my bag. After a small investigation I suspected him to have taken the money and confronted him. He blatantly agreed to have done so and promised it won’t be repeated. He was so convincing that I agreed to the story he filled my ears with. The love never waned.

Was this like the beginning of something, something suspicious?

I constantly reminded myself of being in love with him while I was actually suspicious. Just the one incident had played on my mind and my trust factor.

What happened next?

It’s difficult to spell that out but I will, just for you. I smiled staring back in his eyes. I was feeling enamored already.

He had fully owned the responsibility of the incident and the life went on as it was, the gifts never stopped but I never really learnt the actual him till one fine day that tore me apart.

A few members of the society where I live in along with the guards and some policemen knocked on our door and asked for me. They told me that a male friend of mine has been arrested and asked for me to meet him at the lockup. The name they told me did not ring a bell and yet I went alongside. I was briefed about the case, about the thefts and the frauds he had committed. They told me about how this friend looks and I was taken aback.

No, it cannot be possible. I said

What is not possible? They asked surprised.

The description you just gave is that of my boyfriend and he is in Shimla with his family.

Why don’t you see for yourself mam? They suggested.

What transpired at the police station left me dumbfounded for weeks on a stretch, the only guy I had fallen in love with had accepted all the charges levied against him. He was a fraud with an identity that had never been revealed to me. Whatever he had told about him, his friends, his job, the social media profiles, the stories, the romance and the whole damn life was a lie.

Flabbergasted, I went up to the lockup bars and could see his face clearly. He looked remorseless; I felt like killing myself but did not even shed a tear. Why? I asked him looking dead into his eyes.

I am sorry. That was all he could utter as he folded his hands asking me for forgiveness and started crying.

I looked at him for a good one minute and turned around. I felt breathless.

My love was not a lie, please get me out of here, I beg you. He wailed loud.

The ears of the woman he was crying to had gone deaf.

I left the police station there and then, have never looked back ever since. In fact if my mother wouldn’t have brought something up today morning I would have never even thought about that man again, leave alone telling someone the story.

What was his name?

Samar, his real name is Manav as I was told.

You still love him, don’t you?

No I don’t.

I can see it in your eyes.

I am sorry but i would request you to keep your perceptions to yourself.

I can understand what you have gone through, I won’t say I can change that but I would say you are too strong a woman to let this all get the better of you. He said and rose up from the stool, came up close to me and gave me a comforting hug. He held my arms with his strong hands and sent a wave of dizziness through my spine.

I felt I was losing my control all over again, just by a single meeting with a guy who had just convinced me to tell him my deepest secret. I felt uneasy and stood up. I knew this was going to be weird and tough but I smiled at him looked him once straight in the eyes, thanked him and walked off. 

I was in tears on my way back home and my legs were giving in. I had told the deepest thoughts of my heart to a man who made me go weak in my knees with just one meeting. A stranger had just punctured my heart yet again.


#shortstories

The Message- Short Story

She willed herself to not check her phone to see if he had replied. It had been about three days now. She hated that she was constantly checking his 'last seen at' status and yes, he had logged in just five minutes ago. Yet she couldn't stop herself. This sinking feeling to find absolutely no communication from him was becoming unbearable, almost torturous. 

And then, just as she sat down in her chair, her phone vibrated. With her heart thudding in her ear, she unlocked her phone and stared at the screen. Finally! It was his message. 

But when she opened it and read it, she nearly stopped breathing. She didn't know if he was joking or not. What was this? 

Her heartbeat grew wild, she felt her legs leaving her at the mercy of gravity, and her eyes were glued to the phone screen as she was not able to fathom how and why her world had come crashing down by just a text message.
Tears escaped her eyes as she was engulfed by the enormity of the situation. All she could do was think about how she had felt so good three nights before without having a hint of what was to happen.  
She tried to remember about how glowing her face had been and how it kept on decreasing while waiting for his call or message after he had given her many reasons to proclaim him the best man she had ever been with and the one she would want to be with forever. Just a couple of meetings and a dinner date had convinced her that he was the one for her. But as she stared at the blank spaces and the walls around her she realized something she had always dreaded.

God, not me, please don’t let it be true.  She cried aloud as her eyes swelled up and she wailed so loud that a few hostel mates lurking outside in the corridor made their way inside with panic stricken faces.

Are you ok babe? Priya asked with a concerned voice being Sneha’s only friend at the hostel.

Why are you crying Sneha? The others joined the chorus as Sneha continued to wail and scream holding her face in her hands. The phone which was the reason for all the grief around lay besides her on the bed while her friends came close to comfort her.

That bastard, she said with a tone of an injured warrior.

He has fucked my whole life up. I don’t know what to do. I am numb, someone please help me. The tears never stopped as she was finding it too hard to compose her and speak out anything properly.

Girls, can you please leave us here? I would like to talk to her alone. Priya had a firm look on her that shooed the others away.

Calm down honey. Just tell me what is bothering you.  Everything will be fine.

No, nothing will be fine. My life is finished.

Trust me, like always. I am here for you Anshu.

Just look at me, focus on the present and tell me the details. Priya had a maturity and confidence that went beyond Sneha’s understanding. She wiped her tears off and tried to compose herself. After gulping down an entire bottle of water she started confiding in her.

I don’t know where to start. I met this guy at a friend’s birthday and the next I know is I am here crying over what happened over the course of the last one week.

Just take a deep breath and spill it out. Trust me you shall feel better.

I did hang out with him twice after that party, he was so charming, so soft spoken, chivalrous and so respectful that I lost my guard. He asked me out for a dinner some days back and I accepted having been swooned by his personality and traits. I was willing to take this chance, i thought I might finally be able to get a hold of my life by being with a guy I considered was the best for me.

So you then slept with him? Priya was trying to be calm amidst all the tension.

Slept? I probably had the best night of my life with him. Sneha’s eyes swelled up once again.

So then why are you troubled? Priya asked not being able to comprehend the look on Sneha’s face and the anger in her eyes. She looked so enchanted by that guy and yet so fucked up.

Sneha, not being able to stop herself any longer picked the phone up, unlocked it and in one swift motion having opened the text she had received some minutes back showed it to Priya. The flow of tears got faster as Priya took the phone in her hands and stared at it for a few moments that felt like eternity.

In a moment of impulse, Priya moved from her position threw the phone down on the floor and slapped Sneha hard enough to bring her out of the miserable trance.

Tell me this is a joke or a lie. Tell me dammit. She shook up Sneha with her strong hands and began to cry.

I don’t remember anything Priya, save me please. I beg you. Sneha screamed and embraced Priya as they both began to sob uncontrollably.

The girls standing outside the door listening to what was transpiring between Priya and Sneha were about to knock on the door and come in to check on them when suddenly the lights went off.  Inside the room full of anger, disappointment, grief, frightfulness and which was now engulfed in darkness with the sounds of wails echoing around, the text on Sneha’s phone did shine bright. The text that had overwhelmed two minds and had the most infernal words a human can ever read, welcome to the family of HIV.

#shortstories

The Timing- Short Story

An awesome Friday afternoon, first week of February!

I remember the time very precisely, 03.07PM, one message that shook my imagination.

The whole week of putting in the best efforts at work had finally begun to reap benefits. Multiple messages and emails of lots of funds being transferred to the account later, one defied belief.

It’s not easy being a stock analyst in a mid-tier consulting company working for NASDAQ clients. Braving depression, family issues, heartaches and what not all we do is give tips to customers to grow their money and even make some loose theirs. We do remain constant without a hint of surprise when thousands and lakhs flow into our accounts for our diligent work but when the amount has seven zeroes at the end, you are bound to stand up from your seat, leave your coffee on the table and head to the huge window to grab a long lasting look at the view the enormous ocean in front of your office does offer.

The view that is the only antidote to the stuttering heartbeat, the heavy breath, the nervous smile and the passionate eyes, the view that I had for the last some time avoided to be enticed into for it did provide a soothing to the tired eyes but brought back emotions and memories that I believed somehow hindered with the passion of making money.

All the moments over the course of the last four years and many more from the years before that came flooding back and took me back into a trance of procrastination. The school days, the chilling out with college friends, the everlasting booze parties, the first job, the start of professional life, the wild office parties and off course the one woman I still pinned for, all of it did manage to fill me with some sort of an emotional euphoria.

Was this the day that would change my life and let me walk the path I always wanted to? Was the amount I just earned doing some weird things to me? How was I getting emotional all over again when I had made myself so devoid of all this for all these years? I wondered with so many doubts creeping into my mind.

They were just a few minutes of ecstasy before I did manage to come back to reality when someone tapped my shoulder.

Are you alright? Neha, a fabulous colleague of mine came over to check on me. Rarely was I seen looking out over the sea with a weird smile on the face and a nervousness writ all over my face.

All right would be an understatement. I said with a beaming smile.

Neha and me were very close buddies and discussed our professional and personal lives over a few beers almost every weekend. This was one moment I thought need not wait for the weekend to be shared. I looked around to check if anyone else was there, upon finding no body around proudly showed her the message on my cellphone, the message that read an amount with seven zeroes.

Fucking shit! Wow. This is out of the world. She came close and embraced me.

But I won’t say I am happy for you till I get the biggest treat you have ever given anyone. She had the biggest smile I had ever seen anyone have for my accomplishments except for my mom.

For sure darling! Anything for you! I was thrilled with excitement.

By the way, aren’t you going to break this news to the team and boss?

Not yet, let me cherish and soak in this moment first.

Way to go my boy. She soon left for her desk. Work after all doesn’t allow us more than a few minutes to relish each other’s success.

Yet another awesome Friday, second week of February!

It was still dawn when I stepped out of the cab and walked towards the entry gate of the Delhi airport. The early morning February air was pleasantly cold.

I was travelling to Bengaluru to attend a college friend's wedding. It had been four years since we graduated from the same college. This wedding was also going to be a reunion of our batch mates. But what I didn't know was that the reunion would begin much ahead of time; right in the queue in front of the airline counter.

I was almost sure it was she. Same height! Same long hair! Same complexion! Curiosity had my eyes glued to her. And then about 60-odd seconds later, when she turned, she proved me right. My ex-girlfriend stood two places ahead of me in that queue. We had never met after the college farewell.

Adwait’s wedding card had been lying all this while at my desk and it was a SOS by Prashant a few days back that tempted me to make my travel arrangements and head of to the startup capital of India. It had been four years and I had been in touch with just three friends from college time, Prashant being one of them. I had surprised myself when i listened to my heart’s desires and chalked out a plan to take a leave for a day and attend this wedding. Or maybe it was the enticement of seeing a face after all these years, a face that I once imagined would remain with me forever.

Now two days later, as luck would have it, the reason for the temptation, the very same face was standing right ahead of me and my bizarre mind way too busy playing games with my heart.

Should I go up to her and at least say a hello, would there be any animosity that might lead to a scene right here. I thought to myself for a few seconds and stood rooted to my spot. Finally I did follow my gut as I have always done, went straight up to her and stood by her side.

Four years and nothing has changed, the same sparkling eyes. I said with a genuine smile even though I was too nervous on the inside.

Goodness me! It’s so good to see you. How have you been, Mr. Stock Analyst?

She sounded amazingly mature yet a little formal but there was something alarmingly charming in that voice and the poise.

You have been keeping a tab on me, didn’t know this. I have been good and I think I just got better.

Seeing each other after four years and yet trying to flirt? Still the same you are. But i think I should complement you, you look quite dapper. Much better than the college days, I should say. She smiled and winked, for a second I felt a tinge of sensation which I had to quickly brush of.

How about you? How is the life in the corporate management world?

So the keeping of tabs is being done from both the ends. That’s interesting. Life is pretty good, I would say.

By the way are we both going where I think we are?

Maybe if the people over there allow both of us onboard. I said pointing towards the airline counter.

Can we get adjacent seats? As soon as our turn came up, I asked the female at the airline counter while pointing towards Kriti.

Kriti, hope you don’t mind me entertaining you lest you get bored in the two hour journey.

Off course not, please get us the seats. We have a lot to catch up to.

We did eventually talk a hell lot during the journey. Professional lives, making money, travelling places, books, writing, people management, corporate rat race and a lot more figured on the topic list. Not even once did we endeavor to go into the questions about the relationship statuses. Maybe my heart still felt she was single and had been waiting for me all this time or maybe it was just me. I knew I would never know till I ask but I dared not to for I was not sure for the first time in so many years about what an answer or a reaction will do to my state of mind.

As soon as we landed at the Bengaluru airport, the so famous rains were out in full flow to welcome us. The reunion that had started for me at the Delhi airport continued, Prashant and a few more friends were waiting for us. After catching the cab we realized that the wedding venue is so far of that our flight timings were actually lesser. We did have a jolly time discussing the post college lives, money making spree, career plans, entrepreneurship ventures and a lot more. Just that the mention of the families brought a lump into my throat for no one apart from Prashant knew about the torrid time I went through during the separation of my parents. I tried to keep to myself till we reached the venue and I wondered what would I have been without this man, this friend, Prashant.

After the usual pleasantries were exchanged at the wedding venue he took me aside.

How on earth did you manage to come out of the airport with her? He was amused and concerned at the same time.

Well, magic I would say. She was in the same flight. We even got adjacent seats. I answered with a smile.

Gosh, you lucky bitch. So what all did you talk about? Did you even give her a hint of the feelings you have hidden inside for all this while?

What feelings? I tried to have a surprised look. We were discussing so many things man. In fact I think we still have a lot in common.

Oh, such hopes. This is great, coming from a workaholic like you.

Chuck all this you moron. Where is the groom? We should be trying to make his life miserable instead of discussing my love life here.

Sure, let’s go and check our rooms first.  Then we can go and play chicken with him. How the hell can he walk the aisle while we are still single?

We both were on our way laughing heartily when suddenly that face appeared from nowhere. Our eyes met, it was more than for an instant. The lips quivered into a smile at the same time, it was a connection I felt. I did stop to cast a glance at her when she had passed us by. My world of emotions was turning upside down.

A Marathi wedding in the sober town of Bengaluru did not promise a grand extravaganza but we were hell bent on making it fun. A group of seven people was way too much for the dull atmosphere. We made the DJ change the tunes to Bollywood and English hip hop. The relatives were forcibly made to get up from the chairs and dance during the afternoon functions. The groom was not spared either once he was ready for the marriage procession. We made him dance as per our wishes but my eyes were always wandering to where Kriti was grooving to the music and our eyes met many times leaving me tranquilized every time.

Oh boy, she still has the moves. I thought to myself. After all this time, what is she doing to me? Her eyes are playing with my heart. I murmured under my breath.

Wasn’t it always this way? I would suggest you do something about it or I will. Prashant had a firm look on his face. He had clearly seen me trying to catch a glimpse of Kriti so many times that he was worried about this sudden transformation of his so called self-proclaimed workaholic friend.

No one is doing anything; let the heart play with my brain. I had moved on many years back.

A workaholic already moved on man doesn’t look at his ex like the way you are. So shut up and go tell her these feelings.

Ok brother, I give up. Let’s wait for the wedding to be over.

That’s like the Raveesh I know. Be the go getter I always thought you would be. He sounded proud of me or maybe it was me who felt that way.

Much after the wedding was over and left us all tired, we went to our respective rooms to get that much needed sleep. Somehow Prashant fell asleep in a fraction of seconds and I had to get out of the room to get some fresh air as I still felt fresh and had a lot of things on my mind.

From the corner of my eye I saw Kriti standing in the porch staring at the clear night skies and this time my feet did not shy away from going near her. I stopped a few feet away from her lest I alarm her out of her stupor.

She looked at me and started to say something. I took a step closer, put my hand reassuringly on hers holding the railing and looked back deep into her eyes.

You know the seat at my office offers possibly the best gaze at the skies extending over the vast ocean and whenever I look at the stars my mind gets transfixed to the twinkling eyes that are staring at me right now. Till today morning i had thought I had moved on and would never look back at my past but just looking at you made me forget who I had become over the last four years. I don’t know if you would agree or not but in the core of my heart I believe that you are the only one for me.

She did not speak a word and tears trickled down her eyes as she opened her clenched fist. A ring fell to the ground with a loud thud and she went inside without even looking back leaving me forlorn staring at the bright walls shining splendidly in the night. My mind and eyes quickly went back to the ring that was still in motion and with a swift move I bent down to pick it up.

What I saw shattered my nimble self and left me numb. Engraved on the ring was “Kriti and Akash”. I couldn’t feel my legs at that moment as i held on to the railing to sit down right there.

My brain went into a daze. Did I touch her emotionally vulnerable side when she had been in a state of shock, did I speak out the hidden feelings of mine at an appropriate time or was my timing so fallacious that it broke the souls of the people involved. The questions invaded my mind as I sat there for hours trying to find answers looking at the daylight break out of the clear night sky and wondering about what this day would bring in our lives.

#shortstories