The Confession

'Are you sure, Rhea?' asks my mother.

'Of course I'm. Survival of the fittest, mother. I'm not going against Darwin. Also I don't want unnecessary scars on my body.'

It's a known fact that we are all born to die. And frankly, I don't understand why it has to be made into such a big deal. If it were not for my mother I would have said that to the bunch of people outside my house, some of them with young kids, shouting slogans, waving placards, literally wanting me to cut one of my beating hearts out. "Save A Life. Donate!" they shout.

For someone who is one in billions, 7.125 billion to be exact, I expect to be treated better. Scientists are still befuddled regarding my condition that gave me two hearts in my mother's womb. But years of research and sticking needles into me have led them nowhere, and they have labelled me as a freak mutation. It's so rare - literally one in all humankind - that they didn't even name the anomaly (as they call it, I will call it awesomeness). I wanted to name the condition myself, something on the lines of Rhea's Heartsawesome but the doctors aren't thrilled with the suggestion. Instead they want to cut one of them out and save a life. Huh?

An IQ of 180, increased concentration, exceptional athleticism and a phenomenal metabolism rate - are just the few boring benefits of an increased blood circulation. Why would I ever give that up?

It better be as good as the last controversial decision you made in your life. Says mom.

Don’t worry, I make the best decisions mom. As of now, I am going out to get some fresh air.

What? There are people outside wanting your heart. Mom is showing concern as usual.

There was one who tried. Look where he is now.

There is trouble lurking outside and you want to go right at it. Have you gone crazy? Mom asks in a dramatically concerned tone, something I have never been used to.

As I said, I know what I am doing. I will take the back gate and I believe no one is going to be there waiting for me to arrive. I will go to the park for a run and grab something to eat as well.

You want something?

No, just come back soon.

I went into my room, changed into my comfy clothes and running shoes. The i-pod as always was ready and I was totally charged up to head into the outer world and put all of this at the back of my mind by going for a run. I somehow managed to use the back gate to rush out of the society to avoid the prying eyes and the media at the main gate. Halfway through the run in the park it somehow began to drizzle and instead of feeling all cheered up I felt weak in my knees.

What is happening to me? I started to wonder.

My mind went back to the decision my mom had talked about fifteen minutes ago. The decision, the self-righteousness and the man it all came back and after a real long time I felt some wetness around my eyes.

Those eyes that stared from his picture when he as a stranger sent that message, the so soft spoken charming voice, the confident poise when I finally gathered courage to meet the first online male friend ever, which somehow turned out to be the last as well, all the thoughts that I had managed to keep out of my mind overwhelmed me.

From the corner of the eyes I could see a pale shadow of someone I thought I knew. With the rain having drenched me totally and without a control on my tears I wasn’t able to fathom who this could be till I felt a hand gently touch my shoulder and an umbrella cover me.

Are you ok, sweetheart? A middle aged but fit looking bespectacled man had me under his watchful gaze.

It has started to rain heavily, let me walk you home.

Thanks for your concern but I can manage.

Someone who is shedding tears in such a romantic weather cannot manage I guess.

I am stronger than what my tears are making you perceive me as.

I am sure you are, but I would suggest not getting drenched at this time of the year. We can go to the nearby tea stall to get some cover from the rain in case you doubt I would be a stalker if I walk you off till your home.

This man had something in him, some mystic charm in his eyes that made me smile and for a moment I did forget about the stuff I had been through. We went to the nearby tea stall and he got piping hot tea while I tried to sit on a not so clean bench to compose myself.

So who is the guy who broke your heart? He asked with curiosity laden eyes.

Excuse me, what are you talking about?

The tears, the sudden loss of balance and the sadness in this weather, they all point to heartbreak.

For someone who has two hearts and is one in a billion, heartbreak isn’t that tough a thing to deal with. I had some zeal back in my voice.

This does make me a little more curious to know about you and your story, if you are willing to share it over tea. I do have all the time to listen.

Ok, I guess I have to give in.

That’s like a good girl. He said.

It began with a quirky message on the social media from an average looking stranger that caught my attention. I had never been a fan of entertaining people from the virtual world but this one seemed different. We were different yet similar in many aspects of life, maybe that’s what helped us connect, we interacted enough to become friends online, exchanged numbers and following some long conversations decided to give blind dating a chance. I won’t even call it a blind date.

Isn’t a date, a date? Whatever you call it. He interrupted to break my flow.

I don’t like being interrupted when I am the one telling the story.

Oh, sorry, couldn’t stop myself.

So we went out once and unexpectedly for me we did have a connection. His eyes and his way with words drew me towards him. I knew I was interested but did not want to be an easy catch so played the usual hard to get card and surprisingly he chased me. Cheesy one liners, surprise gifts, meeting for coffee at odd hours and flowers, he had started to get on my nerves.

Was it like you were interested and he never go a whiff of that?

Precisely, I have always liked it that way.

A male charmer, I must say.

I would disagree.

Ok, so you were at him getting on your nerves. I would like to know more about him.

This old man was intriguing me with his words, his curiosity and the listening skills that I had hardly seen in men. Don’t know why but I felt a sensation of telling him the whole story I hadn’t even told my mom.

I am thinking, you would be the first to know the whole truth. I am a little concerned if you would be able to digest the entire story. I said with a smile to try and catch him off guard.

Maybe you can try and check my digestion. He replied with such a calm demeanor that I had to somehow give up.

He was like this fresh air that had crept into my life somehow. I was a freak, hyperactive, always up to something; he tried bringing a sense of calmness into my being and somehow succeeded. I became a bit more relaxed and sorted in my day to day life, I looked at things from his perspective as he was intriguing me every day. I changed not for him but because of him and I let my guard down to finally fall in love.

This is so sweet. The stranger said with his eyes staring at me as if looking deep into my soul.

Yeah you can call it sweet, I call it my life. I trusted him more than anyone in this world, not even my own family got in that zone. I shared my deepest secrets and desires and he listened very patiently. I was in awe of him till one day I found some of my money stolen from my bag. After a small investigation I suspected him to have taken the money and confronted him. He blatantly agreed to have done so and promised it won’t be repeated. He was so convincing that I agreed to the story he filled my ears with. The love never waned.

Was this like the beginning of something, something suspicious?

I constantly reminded myself of being in love with him while I was actually suspicious. Just the one incident had played on my mind and my trust factor.

What happened next?

It’s difficult to spell that out but I will, just for you. I smiled staring back in his eyes. I was feeling enamored already.

He had fully owned the responsibility of the incident and the life went on as it was, the gifts never stopped but I never really learnt the actual him till one fine day that tore me apart.

A few members of the society where I live in along with the guards and some policemen knocked on our door and asked for me. They told me that a male friend of mine has been arrested and asked for me to meet him at the lockup. The name they told me did not ring a bell and yet I went alongside. I was briefed about the case, about the thefts and the frauds he had committed. They told me about how this friend looks and I was taken aback.

No, it cannot be possible. I said

What is not possible? They asked surprised.

The description you just gave is that of my boyfriend and he is in Shimla with his family.

Why don’t you see for yourself mam? They suggested.

What transpired at the police station left me dumbfounded for weeks on a stretch, the only guy I had fallen in love with had accepted all the charges levied against him. He was a fraud with an identity that had never been revealed to me. Whatever he had told about him, his friends, his job, the social media profiles, the stories, the romance and the whole damn life was a lie.

Flabbergasted, I went up to the lockup bars and could see his face clearly. He looked remorseless; I felt like killing myself but did not even shed a tear. Why? I asked him looking dead into his eyes.

I am sorry. That was all he could utter as he folded his hands asking me for forgiveness and started crying.

I looked at him for a good one minute and turned around. I felt breathless.

My love was not a lie, please get me out of here, I beg you. He wailed loud.

The ears of the woman he was crying to had gone deaf.

I left the police station there and then, have never looked back ever since. In fact if my mother wouldn’t have brought something up today morning I would have never even thought about that man again, leave alone telling someone the story.

What was his name?

Samar, his real name is Manav as I was told.

You still love him, don’t you?

No I don’t.

I can see it in your eyes.

I am sorry but i would request you to keep your perceptions to yourself.

I can understand what you have gone through, I won’t say I can change that but I would say you are too strong a woman to let this all get the better of you. He said and rose up from the stool, came up close to me and gave me a comforting hug. He held my arms with his strong hands and sent a wave of dizziness through my spine.

I felt I was losing my control all over again, just by a single meeting with a guy who had just convinced me to tell him my deepest secret. I felt uneasy and stood up. I knew this was going to be weird and tough but I smiled at him looked him once straight in the eyes, thanked him and walked off. 

I was in tears on my way back home and my legs were giving in. I had told the deepest thoughts of my heart to a man who made me go weak in my knees with just one meeting. A stranger had just punctured my heart yet again.


#shortstories